This isn’t something I normally post, obviously I stick to beauty & fashion & the like. I do post about some personal things as well as some motivational posts essentially. But I have been going through thoughts and things lately that I haven’t shared but I don’t know how to think through them or really work through them at all besides write it out.
What I mean by standing still is not moving forward in life, not doing really anything in my life. My 4th semester of college just ended in May so it is summer now which is refreshing in itself. But I don’t have a job and don’t do too much besides write, read, film, and work on some research things. I fell like I cannot find my place in life, my passion, what I want to do, or what I really should do. It is very discouraging and puts me more at a stand still in life it seems. This whole stand still in life ends up pushing forwards my depression which just turns into a terrible cycle.
On top of this I am having a lot of joint and muscle pain as well as a ton of headaches. I know it sounds crazy but I believe bad feelings and depression and what not can really physically effect people. It can create sickness and pain and I think that is what is happening.
This is all intense to deal with when still being fairly young. It is a lot to deal with at any point in life but knowing you have to figure out the rest of your life while feeling down and out about the world is a lot. I stay up at nights stressed about a lot…lets make a list:
- my major
- living situation in college
- skin problems
- health problems
- my pets
- my family
- everything else in the entire world.
I don’t mean to sit here and complain about how my “life is so terrible” because it really isn’t I just overthink everything. Honestly I have nothing to really be stressed about but here I am….stressed as ever.
I am someone who believes that “fate” “Everything working it self out” and “luck” are non existent. I think the only way to get where you want to be in life is to work, work, work, and go for it which makes things even more stressful. People who believe in luck and fate have it much easier since they assume there isn’t much to worry about and I wish I could have a little of that mindset but no, life is how I make it, so I have to make it good.
This turned into a long rant….sorry about that.
Follow me on here and my socials, as well as my vlog channel to hear more of my rants and keep up with my insanity:
P.S. I am going to start a new posting schedule. I will post a blog post on Wednesdays and Saturdays. On my youtube I post Monday and Thursday. (If I want to post more or have more content then I will post whenever during the week but these two days for each are for sure.)