So one of my new years resolutions was to ‘Do things that make ME happy.’ In all honesty I haven’t been sticking too it too well, however I haven’t been doing things that make me unhappy. I’ve been reading a lot and writing some, I’ve also been editing videos like crazy which I do enjoy doing. However it seems as if nothing is coming from it and it is very discouraging.
I quit a job that was in a very bad environment. By that I mean people yelling all the time at me and at each other, everyone blaming stuff on me, etc. Really the worst type of environment. Directly after I quit I ended up having some other financial difficulties that I am now in debt for and have to pay starting February 1st otherwise some ‘interesting’ things will happen.
So long story short I am beyond stressed about these financial things and also with how my life doesn’t seem to be working the way I want it too. Through this stuff negative thoughts have been seeping in day after day and it SUCKS. I wake up happy and then I start to worry about things non stop, a lot of which I don’t have to worry about because it doesn’t effect me right now. The only thing that really will effect my life is if I cannot get the debt paid on Feb. 1st so I know I need to focus on that the most. But then I go through the day with stomach pain and uneasy breathing from anxiety and stress so everything is going just as planned (wink, wink.) Then to end off the night I end up not being able to sleep for a long time.
I don’t want this to be a super depressing post but I had to get all of my thoughts of stress out of the way first, simply to selfishly help me. Anyways I have always read that thinking positively is the first step in moving forward and really going for what you want and all that jazz. So lately whenever I start getting too stressed, having an anxiety attack, or getting too deep into depression I start to tell myself ‘I can do,’ ‘I got this,’This is only temporary.’
In addition to these self motivational thoughts I have started to list off the things I am blessed with before I go to bed every night and when I wake up every morning. I actually stole this piece of advice from a wonderful movie…’White Christmas.’
So Bing Crosby is a genius because this works! It helps to remember all the benefits of life and moving on. It helps to clear your mind of all the worry and stress and even fear. Focusing on the good isn’t just a bulls*it idea, it is a real and emotional helpful idea.
Lastly, making a list and prioritizing things I need to go is helping me focus more. Obviously, right now my one and only priority is getting that bill paid. But after paying this first debt then I will find a job I actually enjoy in a good environment and hopefully things will look up from there honestly.
Let me just say that I have never been a religious person but through everything that is going on I have started to look into it more, read religious books, and even pray sometimes. I am not trying to push religion on you at all because I am not even sure it is helping me but it is always worth a try. It helps so many people throughout the world and I think it is amazing at how healing it is for these people even if I don’t fully believe in it.